Buckets of Rain

New Yorkers carry their shitty little identical black umbrellas like fucked up badges of pride. They have these stupid curved handles that serve no purpose; they neither open nor close properly; they invert if the wind is any more powerful than your average sneeze. Whenever it rains the umbrella guys come out of the woodwork to sell them on the streets, and they're cheap. So everyone has one and it lasts for maybe one or two rain storms and then breaks or you lose it and you buy another one the next time it rains. There was an article on the front page of the New York Times a few months ago about the distributor of these umbrellas; he was suspiciously vague about the details of his operation.

It's been pouring rain here all weekend, and I spent the early, early hours of this morning drunkenly trying to tell the above story, in Spanish, to anyone who would listen. I don't think it went over very well.