((Boiiing!))

What is it about walking in the rain that makes you get all introspective? I knew when I went out tonight that it would probably rain; it was raining a little before I left. But I decided, based on no evidence whatsoever, that it wouldn't really rain, so I didn't bring an umbrella. Of course it rained, so now I'm all introspective. And feeling like a gas molecule, bouncing around in some frictionless space. My life moves forward smoothly enough in whatever direction it's going until it collides with something that sends it off in a whole other direction. Unlike a molecule I am capable of taking charge of my life and moving myself in different directions, but in practice I tend not to. I react to what life throws at me, rather than being proactive about what I want from life. When I put it that way it doesn't sound like a great strategy, but it's worked pretty well so far.

Anyway, before I got all wet and introspective, I was planning to write about bilingual humor. I don't mean bilingual in the sense of actually speaking two languages, just that the jokes involve two languages. (In fact, maybe the less Spanish you speak the better, I dunno.) My sense of humor is a little jodido (fucked), so you might not laugh. Here goes. My friend says he speaks Spanish un pollo. It kinda sounds like un poco which means "a little," but it actually means "a chicken." "I speak Spanish a chicken." That's funny. My mom and I were walking by this newsstand the other day and she asked me "Does that say 'Date a bathroom?'" The magazine cover did in fact say Date un baño and un baño does mean "a bathroom." (Technically baño means "bath," but it's used for bathroom.) But date in Spanish is a command meaning "give yourself," so the whole thing means "Give yourself a bath." Probably an article about spas or something, but "Date a bathroom" is funny. And really not much worse than most of the dating advice in women's magazines, I bet. Bathrooms don't move to New Jersey, or send the wine back.